Does St Nick need a lock pick?

December is here at last and the festive season always makes me think of doors. I don’t mean the doors that I spend my days here happily testing, but other kinds of doors.

Ever since the month began, my first job each morning has been to open the door on my lovely Liniar advent calendar. Unfortunately, I can’t eat the little chocolates, but my humanbot helpers seem to enjoy them.

Also, as the New Year quickly approaches, I think of a hypothetical door closing on this year and a new one opening up, bringing with it exciting opportunities and challenges.

But I’ve also been worrying about actual doors lately. Residential doors, bi-fold doors, patio doors, French doors, you name it, I’ve been worrying. Because doors are becoming increasingly strong and secure these days, and here at Liniar we particularly pride ourselves on exceptionally high security standards, this might present a certain someone with a problem this Christmas Eve.

I know from my own research that there’s a large number of homes in this country that either no longer have a chimney, never had a chimney, or have had fireplaces sealed in. This knowledge has kept me awake for many nights in my lab!

With his traditional delivery method rapidly disappearing around the nation, how on earth is Santabot going to find a way to get inside people’s homes to leave their presents?

I know for a fact that it would take a lot more than even Elf magic to bypass Liniar’s outstanding ModLok technology!

But just as I felt my frazzled circuits would overheat with worry, one of my little friendbots kindly let me into the secret of the ‘magic key’ that little kidbots leave for Santa these days, so that he can quickly get in and out of a home, leaving an abundance of wonderful gifts under the tree.

My mind is now at well at ease. As some of you may know, I am a bit of an amateur poet in my spare time, so I thought I’d give a classic Christmas poem a bit of an update for your amusement.

I hope you enjoy it…

Twas the run up to Christmas, when all through the country

Hardly a chimney was left, to allow Santa entry

The stockings were still hung by the fireplace with care

Wondering how St Nick would be able to get in there

The children were nestled all snug in their beds

While visions of X-Boxes danced in their heads

Mum and Dad locked up and carefully checked

There’d be no unwanted visitors while they slept

When out on the lawn there arose such a whack

They sprang from their bed to see what was the crack

Away to the windows they flew like a flash

Whipped open the curtains and the flush sash

They gasped at the sight of the reindeers and sled

With a little old driver, obviously overfed

So up to the house-top the coursers they flew

With the sleigh full of toys, and Santa Claus too

And then, in a twinkling, they heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof

But up above poor old St Nick couldn’t see

A way to get down the redundant chimney

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his toes

How he was going to drop off his presents, nobody knows

The bundle of toys he had flung on his back

Needed to go under the tree, or he’d get the sack

His reindeers confused because he’d delivered nothing

He scrambled down from the roof, huffing and puffing

He searched for another means of getting inside

His heart dropped when a ModLok bi-fold door he spied

His eyes lost their twinkle, his dimples not so merry

The jolly old elf no match for Liniar security

He started to turn and give up on his mission

Feeling sad for the children and their gift omission

Then out of the corner of his eye he did spot

Amongst the snow, poking out from a plant pot

A magic key, left especially for St Nick

He unlocked the door and dashed inside quick

Taking a moment to admire the beautiful bi-fold

The smooth motion, sleek lines keeping out the cold

He exhaled with awe then went to his work

Placed the gifts under the tree, then turned with a jerk

Sliding the door closed behind him, he sprang to his sleigh

And old St Nick and his reindeer softly flew away

But they heard him exclaim, and it nearly brought a tear

“I want a Liniar ModLok bi-fold door for Christmas next year!”